Jess Doney "JD" MILLS

JESS DONEY “JD” MILLS J.D., a man of faith, loyal friend, partner, loving father and husband, doodler, published artist, writer, poet, artist, elite handyman, and closet-entertainer, known only to family and lucky friends, died September 25, 2022, at home with loving family, Liz , Libby and first nephew Eddy Collins (Norman, OK) close. Born February 23, 1934 in Springfield, MO, J.D. was 88 years old. He died just weeks before his 63rd wedding anniversary. He was predeceased by his parents Dwight and Ghizella Mills, favorite Aunty – Lucretia Stuck, sister - Sylvia Pittman, a favorite brother-in-law Donald D. Pittman with whom he shared a birthday, brothers - Col. James E. Mills (USMC) (Marguerite, Mary) and John D. Mills, Sr. (Geraldine). Also, his dear mother-in-law Lois E. Sargent Collins, grandmother-in-law Bess B. Sargent (Mammy), father-in-law Clarence A. Collins (Marj Z.) grandparents Irron Raymond and Lillian Asbury Collins. J.D. enlisted in the U.S. Marine Corp at age 19 without withdrawing from classes at the University of Oklahoma. He served with honor in the USMC as a Corporal – forward radio operator in the Korean War, bringing home stories of the friends he made, guys he served with, that made it seem almost fun. Upon returning home he encountered difficulty re-enrolling in OU because without withdrawal he was down 51 grade points of F! After meeting with Dean Prickett he was allowed in “conditionally” for two semesters. He married Elizabeth Collins, November 7, 1959, after proposing unceremoniously on a Mobil service station driveway under its rotating logo, a flying red horse! J.D. settled down to study Business Administration after changing his major from Geology when oil tanked in the early 1960’s. His last two semesters before graduating put him on the Dean’s Honor Roll. He began his insurance career in Oklahoma City as an Underwriter for USF&G then continued that career as Auto Underwriter with American Fidelity. Years later, he saw and talked to Dean Prickett at the 50th Annversary Party for Liz’s Aunt Alice and Uncle Dick Pettigrew of Oklahoma City. Dean Prickett was there with his wife who headed Norman’s Meals on Wheels. Liz’s grandmother Bess B. Sargent, their first client, and daughter Alice had quite a friendship with her. J.D. never one to hide his past brought up his story to the Dean but, to J.D.’s disappointment, he didn’t seem to remember it though it was a life-changing story to J.D who’d done the work. In 1977, he turned in his white collar job to be Mr. Mom (before the movie was out) to daughters Libby and Marnie, showing up at Robin Hill School (Parkway) to help with school activities when parents, (usually moms) were needed to help supervise or chaperone. J.D. was a favorite of the students, many of whom keep in touch today. J.D. was a very active member of Episcopal Church of the Holy Communion - University City. Never one to refuse a request, he served as Layreader, Vestry member, Junior Warden, poster-maker, Sociables’ party organizer, spell-binding, usually simply costumed storyteller to Vacation Bible School Sunday School, and favorite actor at Pere Marquette Family Weekends in Biblical roles like Moses raising his staff so God would part the waters allowing Moses to lead his people out of Egypt across the dry sea bed to safety. Moses then dropped his staff so God would close the waters. J.D. played the role well and with his wardrobe of bathrobes, he could handle any role offered. Good friends Lucy Krieg, Karen Sterbenz and Jane Vacho knew how to utilize his talents. He designed a coffee mug with the infamous red doors and church name for a fundraiser, two cookbook covers published by women of Holy Communion, the Absalom Jones Coloring Book for the Diocese of Missouri for Karen, and for Jane he designed an invitation to a Grace Hill fundraiser. J.D. and his wife represented Holy Communion on the Diocesan Committee for Habitat for Humanity. Mid-building the first house, JD and Liz became the Co-chairs for the Diocese Committee, replacing The Reverend David Benson, who took leave. Over the next few years they increased the number of participating churches from a few to sixteen building five houses. They initiated a partnership with Citigroup to build the sixth house in six years before retiring from the Committee due to J.D.’s health. J.D. also served on the Diocesan Discernment Committee under Bishop Bill Jones. J.D. loved this project as it was so rewarding , going on Saturdays to the site to say “hi” to the family, there working on their sweat equity, and meeting all the volunteers from other Episcopal churches. Sometime near 1980, Episcopal Diocese of Missouri formed a program of Companion Diocese – pairing up with another Episcopal Diocese somewhere in the world so we might learn from one another and I’m sure to make the world a little smaller, bringing us closer together. The first companionship was to be with Nigeria. J.D. used his talents designing signs marking the approaching event for Bishop Jones. Payment was an invitation to a meet & greet at the home of Bishop Bill & Maggie Jones to meet the Bishop of Nigeria. At Holy Communion plans were well underway for the planned kickoff of an Intergenerational Sunday School for our first Companion Partnership, Nigeria. Careful planning with Sunday School leaders determined the intergenerational program would start with a “flight”, complete with snacks, to Nigeria. J.D., having gathered in British Airlines literature for handouts, decided to make the flight realistic with the simulated sound of very loud engines. Using his Dad’s old fashioned blow torch and, recording the whoosh of the torch, he was intently turning the recorder up and down, simulating the engines for take-off for his perfect recording. Only he got so engrossed in his exciting idea he forgot safety. Setting the burning flat-bottomed blow torch on the floor (avocado shag, of course) he got involved with the tape recorder until he smelled the carpet burning! It was a planned replacement but not at that time. But the 8” hole was enough reason to pull it up and to his astonishment (and very good luck!!) lovely finished hardwood was underneath! Thank God for a happy ending. And the program was a hit with the pilot (Fr. David Deppen) announcing take-off with his loud roar of the engines – the kids loved it! The second exciting project for the church was responding to a request of a late dear friend, Ann Avery, who served on the Diocesan Convention Committee planning the Diocese’s 150th Anniversary. Ann wanted a 3- tier artificial cake to be placed on the dance floor in front of all dinner attendees. After much deliberation and conferring with their late friend Pierre Vacho who agreed to transport the “cake” in his car, J.D. began construction in the dining room of his home – chicken wire, wire cutter, pliers in-hand he cut and fashioned the 3-tier cake then stacked the tiers, wiring them together, then lastly, stuffing tufts of crepe paper into the chicken wire to decorate the cake. All was well until time to transport the cake. First getting it out of his split-foyer home, then somehow into the open back of Pierre and Jane’s s vehicle, both cars started from Maryland Heights on Hwy. 270, going south to Hwy. 40/64). As Pierre sped up, little fluffs of pink crepe paper blew right and left! J.D. and Liz were following, cringing as they watched the fluttering pink pieces but trusting that all would be perfect because they brought extra crepe paper. Needless to say the distance seemed interminable to J.D., from the Hwy270/Hwy 40/64 junction to Clarkson exit and the Doubletree Hotel on Swingley Rd., watching his hard work come undone before his very eyes! Fortunately, extra volunteers were around to help “pretty-up” the cake again on its platform, waiting for its impressive dinner appearance! Again, he lucked out with a pair tickets for dinner and got to see Bishop Bill and Maggie Jones who had returned for the event. J.D. was also a favorite coach of soccer and softball for St. John Bosco Catholic Church’s girls’ teams of soccer and softball as he believed in letting every girl on the team play every game! Good planning and rotation made it happen. A good game played for all of them. It was about the kids always. Just like when he and Liz went to the zoo with Liz’s sister Kathy’s family when Kathy’s daughter Cynthia was just talking. At the seals all were quiet which meant boring to J.D. So he barked loudly and long enough to activate the seals into moving and responding with their own barks, giving the Cynthia a good show. He also was the family chef which became boring. He believed if it was meat, it went into a Dutch oven with potatoes, carrots and onions. His womenfolk are slow to eat pot roast now. And all laugh when the food stories are bought up because one evening rock-hard meat patties were served. As Libby tried to cut into it with knife and fork, the patty skidded off to the floor. His dog Bosco came running over, sniffed and walked away! Without a word, the family re-folded their napkins and went to Denny’s! All this from a man who delighted all at his table with his barbequing… and Aunt Pat’s yeast rolls. But maybe his best story is family related and will be told to future generations to keep his memory alive. Granny Lois Collins, NM (Liz’s mom) had breast cancer surgery so all five of Lois’ children and families (this included lots of kids) gather at Liz’s sister Susan’s home for Thanksgiving in Rio Ranch, NM. J.D. took Liz, Libby and Marnie to Albuquerque by train. It would be a first train ride for the children. Thinking “why board a train in St. Louis, then have to wait in Kansas City”, J.D. drove his family to K.C. arriving to board at 2am. All quickly settled into the train car and went to sleep, waking early at a stop in Newton, KS to beautiful sun-lit ice-coated trees only to hear the news of the Jim Jones massacre in Guyana. Saddened the family proceeded to the family reunion for a great time with Granny and all the cousins. The Mills’ return departure at 1am Saturday was on the on the everyone’s mind as the three other traveling families were driving back to OK at a sensible hour. But no! J.D., or Panatella Duke as he was known by nephews, was leaving at 1am. Liz’s brother and family – Wallace, Pat and the boys ( 5 at that time) took the Duke and family to the train only to find the station dark. Not to be deterred, J.D. was sure any train coming through would stop because he had tickets! Well, a freight train barreled through the dark, not stopping for the small band of 9 people standing on the platform - Wallace, 4 boys (Pat elected to sit in the car with a sleeping toddler, Ryan) J.D.and his 3 gals. Bags were picked up and all shuffled back to the car. Seemed the tickets were for Saturday, 1 PM! Skipping the hotel scene, he re-registered for a room adjoining Pat, Wallace and the boy cousins, only to find we each had adjoining rooms, just to other registrants. The “Surprise! We’re back for breakfast.” at Susan’s was more fun with much laughter and ribbing J.D.(continuing to this day!). There is lots of family film of Wallace & Pat’s older ones making sure J.D. got on the train that afternoon Eddy, David, maybe a Panatella Duke wanna-be, in his Greek fishing cap and leather cape!, Greg and Mike. J.D. loved it! When Marnie went to college leaving us empty nesters, Mike Collins backfilled and lived with us several months while introducing us to his nightlife as he broke into the band scene as a drummer and singer. That was a fun transition and J.D. had male company! Indeed J.D. was a very good handyman having grown up watching his father, Dwight, an early retiree, tinkering around the house with repair chores. J.D. was very talented with tools. And with his artistic eye, he “eyeballed” everything with only occasional measuring. Most very successfully! He and Liz took a community college Kitchen remodeling class and, as Liz went to work each day, J.D. spent 3 months remodeling the kitchen, moving the sink, cutting out a wall, hanging cabinets (bought on a closeout sale but wooden!), tiling the back splash and whatever was necessary to make it better for Liz. He did a beautiful job! J.D. had built a tree house for his girls in Oklahoma City. And indeed, it was loved by them, their friends and all visitors, especially the boy cousins. Nothing would do short of building a bigger one in Norman for the 5 boys. The tree house was to be a flat platform 10’X12’ and would not have a nail in the tree. It would be held to the tree by its own weight. Built on a sprawling, leaf-surrounded huge limb and several large limbs in an old Hackberry tree, this tree house was a delight and J.D. was proud. Then an Oklahoma wind storm came through, blowing the tree over along with the tree house. Add to that a playhouse with a Dutch door, locking shutters with wood-cutout tulips mounted below the windows, built for Libby at age 3. It’s been moved from Oklahoma City to Durant, OK, back to Oklahoma City, then to Maryland Heights where it stands even now in our backyard-- no pattern, no instruction. And, he remodeled a powder room with wild black, orange and pink wallpaper, converting a closet to a smaller one and adding display shelving to the side. It was a knockout, partly because of the existing plastic, tiered chandelier there when we moved in, and would have won a magazine contest if entered! We wish we could have moved it to St. Louis! The memory keeps working. There were many other creative projects such as reclaiming something from the dump or changing the life of a TV cabinet or porch column to a candleholder. J.D.’s artistry was in several mediums and he loved sharing his talent with kids! Doodling, sketching, cross-hatching, fine art with oil paints, acrylics or his latest endeavor, watercolors - all were better than he thought. When his nieces were young, (and he was too, as he was 8 years older than Sylvia (Ruthie to family, 9 years older than Katherine), any card to them would include the words “the world’s smallest hippopotamus” with an arrow pointing to a doodle of a very small caricature of “Henry”. They were crazy about Henry and when Target brought Christmas decorations of a pink pig and purple hippo, we chased all over town to get our own hippo. Henry has a string of fairy lights inside his body, stays up in the living room all year and has seasonal hats to wear. He was J.D.’s joy, bringing back memories of childhood – hide-and-seek with nieces and nephews in the basement around the trunks that came home from the old country by his parents and laughing when someone was found. And belting out “Rose, Rose I love you” with the Ruthie, Katherine, Little Johnny and Gerry on the front porch. Then after finishing the song, all laughing again. They all to a one remember if you were with J.D. there was laughter! That warm feeling has repeated itself in subsequent generations in both his and Liz’s families. It was all one to him. You could be teased but it was all in fun with love and laughter! He could very easily turn the joke on himself. Lisa Stackhouse reminded us of a time the mustard bottle squirted on his sweater. His first reaction was total irritation but he quickly changed that to teasing about himself and laughing. J.D. designed beautiful pen and ink drawings with original poetry to grace the family’s Christmas cards several years. The family is so proud of his artistic endeavors. His poem “The Sparrow” was published in A Voyage to Remember, The National Library of Poetry, 1996. He loved nature and he loved to draw cowboys. All these stories show you the real J.D.Mills, and if you knew J.D. you have a story. I haven’t scratched the surface of his stories or his depth, sitting up at midnight with Lois his mother-in-law, or anyone else philosophizing on deep feelings. Or all the times he dress up as Santa Claus to bring good feelings to strangers that needed a lift. To the family, he was Santa; he was Lori Garcia/s first Santa and when J.D. he dressed in his Santa Claus suit for Matthew and when he came down the hall, Matthew said proudly, “it’s J.D’. So much for Santa. When J.D. was home on hospice, Marnie suggested having everyone write their memory. One was from a niece Christi; she and great-niece Savannah were about 4 and wanted to play London Bridge but lacked a 3rd person to make a bridge. J.D. sprang into place, holding hands to make a bridge in time for a precious picture. No other adult sensed the problem and asked to help these kids play. He was admired for that. He really was a just a big kid! A couple of years ago J.D. decided he’d like some red shoes. Wild hairs like this were not unusual with him but in this case he wasn’t going to be satisfied with the popular sneakers brand worn by his good friend John. No, he wanted boat shoes! Lo and behold, a well-known shoe company had dared make some red leather boat shoes with blue leather trim, all set on a white sole. Must have thought July 4th would create demand for these special shoes. Well, no matter what their marketing guy thought, they had these very good shoes “ON SALE”, J.D.’s favorite words for about $20.00. Instantly that online order had them on the way to J.D.’s feet. But they didn’t fit. Too narrow! But another $15.00 and a day’s wait allowed the cobbler to stretched them and soon put them on his feet from that day forward put them on his from that day forward. Always a friendly, outgoing person, he no longer had to initiate conversations with strangers. Everyone wanted to comment on his red shoes. They made everyone’s day that came in contact with J.D., especially at the hospital valet and lab. No wait was too long because he was talking to someone new! J.D. is survived by his wife Elizabeth (Liz), daughters Libby Mills (Sam Graziani), West Chester, PA and Marnie Mills, Sedona, AZ, nieces- Sylvia Ruth Pittman Whitney (Bill), Topeka, KS, Katherine Pittman Schneeberger (Tom) Grand Ledge, MI, Laurie Lipsey, Saverna, MD, Dianne Humphries, Arnold, MD, Patty Mills, Owings, MD; nephews - John D. Mills II (Beth) VA, Gerry Mills - Oklahoma City, brothers-in law Clarence (Kaylan) Collins, Ardmore, OK, Wallace (Pat) Collins- Norman, OK, Karl R. Collins – Norman, OK sisters-in law -Katherine Collins Corbett- Tulsa, OK, Susan Collins Hathorne - Rio Rancho, NM, Eola Slawson Collins – Norman, OK Godson great-nephew - Clint Whitney- Topeka, KS and Goddaughter great-niece Sophia Hathorne, Rio Rancho, NM. Others are scores of nieces, nephews and great-nieces and great-nephews, even 2 great-great nieces that have loved watching and listening to him regale them by doing the ridiculous, telling funny stories, doodling and drawing – he was so fast! They loved his antics! We hope they remember these funny stories forever so even the two littlest great-great-great nieces will know and love him. Not to be forgotten is Kay Kinamore Lundry lovingly referred to as his “third daughter”. J.D. also loved his Honorary grandchildren” –Sophia Lundry and Matthew Lundry and Asher Koh. May the nieces & nephews always hear him laughing and singing “Rose, Rose I love you” with them and his girls continue to hear him reciting Rudyard Kipling “Gunga Din” and “Mandalay” where his Aunty had lived and enthralled him with her stories. And may J.D. always hear my voice now that he doesn’t have to practice selective hearing. He knows what I’m saying. We are asking family and friends to wear something colorful and come to J.D.’s Celebration of Life. J.D.’s Celebration of Life Saturday, 1:00pm December 3, 2022 Episcopal Church of the Holy Communion 7401 Delmar Blvd. University City, MO Reception following in Mitchell Hall No flowers please. We’d be pleased if you would consider donating to ArtscopeSTL, an organization that works with children to cartoon, doodle and generally express themselves through art, growing their self-esteem. Memoriam for J.D. Mills ArtscopeSTL 2929 Tower Grove Ave. St. Louis, MO 63110 Artscopestl.org We thank you for reading to the end; now you know him a little better. And if you knew him, you have your own stories to add.

Jess Doney "JD" MILLS

February 23, 1934 - September 25, 2022